Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Duck Duck Cougar?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
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Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize