I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
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