so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize