we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
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And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
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I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
A+ Viking dick
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