Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize