why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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