i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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