the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
if i died would you start the facebook group?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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