I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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