My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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