It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I think pants incapable of making pants work
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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