i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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