no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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