i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize