Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
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I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
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She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize