we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who did Billy Mays play for?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize