I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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