Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize