I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
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He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize