Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
You dont lie about slip and slides
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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