I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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