Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I show you my penis last night?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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