We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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