Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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