If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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