Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize