marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize