Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
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