did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
You need a sexual gate keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize