bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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