I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize