I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Randomize