it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
My vagina just clenched in fear
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