I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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