can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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