By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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