dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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