In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize