I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
she pinky promised me she was 18
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize