i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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