a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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