It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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