You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
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