i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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