A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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