You're a womanizer and a bitch.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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