the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
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His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
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