we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize