How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
we made out on top of his cat.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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