well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
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i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
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and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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