Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize