he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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